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I never do that before this very day, and I can only imagine romantic things in my mind. Just some day before, my friends (all girls) at the office joked about their relationships, and most of the time, they kinda mock me for never have a boyfriend, and how some of them had sexual relationship with boys.
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I never have good relationship with boys, and for all practical things, my twin brother is the only boy I get close with. Previously, I think I love him, but for the most parts, I kept this as my little secret from everyone.
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The problem is, I did have a feeling for him, since we're child, he's quite a popular boy, friendly with everyone, and, since i did often depend on him for much. He did cares much for me, since he got job earlier, and actually he paid a lot for my living when I was unemployed, and he never ask for me to repay it. Previously, it's a normal living for us, we are pretty close to each others, and he, yes, he, never consider I much more than just a sister to him before. I'm a girl, 22 years old, and I'm living with my twin brother without anyone else, our parents live in another province, and I live with my brother because we attend university and now work together at the same city. I never can really accept the reality that it was me who start it, and now I'm disgusted of myself.
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I seriously don't know how to said this, and honestly, I use disposable email as I'm utterly embarrased and disgusted of myself this time.